Worst day of my life.
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays
like that for half-hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says: ' Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying. The little guy says "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.
First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outraged, fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they couldn't do anything.
I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.
I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener.
I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."
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a man and his wife are awakened at 3 am by a loud pounding on the front door.
The man struggles out of bed and goes to the door, opens it, and finds an obviously drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain. Almost snarling because of the inconvenience, the guy says to the drunk,
"Yeah, what do you want?!"
"Would you give me a push?" the drunk slurs.
"Are you crazy? Not a chance," the husband answers. "It's three o'clock in the morning!" and slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asked the wife, not helping the situation in the least.
"Some drunk asking for a push," he mumbles.
"Did you help him?” his wife asks.
Now teetering on the edge of exploding, the guy says, "NO! I didn't help him, it's three in the morning and it's raining outside!"
"Well, you've got a very short memory," says his wife. "Don't you remember when we were on the way to a party and those two guys helped us? I think you should help this poor man."
Now wide awake and knowing he'll he unable to go back to sleep, the husband mumbles under his breath, gets dressed, opens the door and stands on the front porch in the driving rain.
"Hey, are you still out there?" he calls.
"Yeah," comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" asks the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
Unable to see anything or anyone in the dark, the husband says, "Where are you?"(scroll down)
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"Over here, on the swing," the drunk says.
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